i'm Lenape (don't tell anyone)
May. 3rd, 2013 10:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
qilorai can make *no* sense of it, that i want it to be a secret when i meet someone... i was sure to dress foreign & wore make up (I WORE MAKE UP?!) and felt i was trying to hide.... felt VERY lucky that i don't have the heavy "angry" brow that my sister & Father have, can't excuse how i'm built tough & strong and not "lithe" ... there is also my teeth that no one saw & many dentist ask me if i was Asian ;)
no. i'm NOT Asian. i'm Lenape. so i am expected to dress in jeans & drink (a lot)... can you know how it feels? that everybody you meet has skin pink against your yellow skin, and tells you so proud that they are 1/16 Cherokee?
i think them being so proud is why *i* have been denying & packing myself in the closet!!! PROUD to not running the "gatherings" & not hanging up a dozen dream catchers, and wearing all those damn feathers...
there has been all that "stuff" i only discovered by noticing when i could compare myself to other people... so many white people talk-talk-talk they seem so uncomfortable in silence & act like filling it with noise or whistle or look at their watch or pick up a magazine etc...
do you want to know how to "be" a native american? know you are safe to be silent. THAT is the first part...
maybe afterwards you notice the voices of your Family, and become obedient to them, just live every moment like you are as strong & patient as you can be, so that They will be proud of you...
no. i'm NOT Asian. i'm Lenape. so i am expected to dress in jeans & drink (a lot)... can you know how it feels? that everybody you meet has skin pink against your yellow skin, and tells you so proud that they are 1/16 Cherokee?
i think them being so proud is why *i* have been denying & packing myself in the closet!!! PROUD to not running the "gatherings" & not hanging up a dozen dream catchers, and wearing all those damn feathers...
there has been all that "stuff" i only discovered by noticing when i could compare myself to other people... so many white people talk-talk-talk they seem so uncomfortable in silence & act like filling it with noise or whistle or look at their watch or pick up a magazine etc...
do you want to know how to "be" a native american? know you are safe to be silent. THAT is the first part...
maybe afterwards you notice the voices of your Family, and become obedient to them, just live every moment like you are as strong & patient as you can be, so that They will be proud of you...
